Message from the Wood Family

We have been asked in this Centenary year to write some words about the contribution our parents made at St. Wilfrid’s. It is hard to speak of them separately as they were both devoted to their faith, to one another, and to their family (us!). Both were humble about their achievements and would not want us to eulogise so we are indebted to others who wrote so warmly about each of them at the time of their deaths.

Harold William Wood - 1901 to 1980

Father died in November 1980 and in the December Parish Magazine, Harold Embleton wrote in THE VICAR’S LETTER:-

“My dear Friends,

The death of Harold Wood has removed from amongst us an outstanding man: his physical handicaps were powerless to suppress the spirit, and thus he proved (in life and death) the Christian doctrine of man. I am less fortunate than most of you, in that I knew him for only four and a half years – he was one of the “gang of four” who landed you with me! I shall miss my namesake more than I can say; and I am grateful to Jack Mohan, who had the privilege of knowing
Harold during all his years in Bognor (and Barnham) and who is a fellow-Lay Reader, for writing our parochial tribute to a truly Christian gentleman.

Our hearts go out to Frances and to all their children; but we must also rejoice together for such a splendid example which it will not be easy to emulate.”

Jack Mohan, who was much loved by all at St. Wilfrid’s as a lay reader and in his former role of Headmaster at Nyewood Junior School, wrote:-

“Whenever, in days to come, my memory is stirred by the name of Harold Wood I shall recall with love and thanksgiving the entire Wood family as a team of Christian people who are very precious to our Parish. The joy of it is that at St. Wilfrid’s we still have most of that team with us for comfort and blessing in the future. We do value their strong witness for the Lord in our midst, and one of the jewels in Harold’s crown is that he was, and still is, the inspiration which motivates this loving family. Praise God for the communion of saints! After conducting a service in one of our Deanery Churches, a lady said to me, “When the Wood family left this Parish to go to Bognor it was a tragic loss to us.”

Throughout his life Harold dedicated his varied gifts to the Church he loved, starting in his young days as a Sunday School teacher, and later as a Sunday School Superintendent. At St. Wilfrid’s we know well his outstanding work as a Reader, Parochial Church Council Secretary, financial adviser, and right hand man to two Vicars. We owe much to his wise handling of Parish affairs in connection with the closure of St John’s Church, and the building of our Parish Hall. At our own home, Dorothy and I inherit the happy spirit of friendship which he and Frances built up in their home Shelley Group. All this work and loving service, and much more not recorded here was, of course, the outcome of his deep personal faith in his Lord and Saviour. Guy Saunders, Cyril Lovell, Roy Blewett and I were lovingly involved with him in our meetings and discussions at my home. It was a privilege to have him with us.

Then, it is quite beyond any words of mine, adequately to pay tribute to Harold’s patient, uncomplaining acceptance of suffering during his many years of arthritic pain and handicap. Dear old “Pop”. I am sure that he knew very well “That the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us.” I loved the way he would smile and then say, “I’m not really a good sufferer, you know!”

All we would add to those very moving words, is our remembrance of Father in a poem written very soon after his death.

“Why did he suffer so, what was it for?
The crippling misery, the pain he bore?
His loss of dignity, frustration, too,
And with his penance, Lord, what did he do?

He kept his faith and hope despite the strife,
And to the end maintained respect for life.
From his example, Lord, help us to learn
Self-pity, bitterness, despair to spurn.
Teach us to emulate his strength of will,
His courage, fortitude, endurance , ‘til
We understand that we, too, can win through
By loving others and by loving you.”

Frances Mary Wood 1908 – 1997

Throughout her life Mother gave enormous support to Father, her immediate family, her wider family and, indeed, to everyone she met. She made a significant contribution in her own right at St. Wilfrid’s from 1963 until she died. She provided hospitality for house groups, discussion groups, clergy from our own parish and many others when John was Churchwarden (particularly during two interregna); she helped by playing the piano for Junior Church every Sunday for many years; made costumes for Nativity Plays and Pageants; helped to set up and take part in a Way Warden Scheme; was Electoral Roll Officer, and in John Nichol’s time became a Lay Minister, taking home communions to a number of housebound people. She also made pickles, chutney, cakes and apple pies ad nauseum!

We were overwhelmed by the letters and cards we received after her death and by the number of people who loved her and said what an impact she had made on their lives. On the Service Sheet printed the day after she died Roger Calder wrote “I know how sad you will all be to hear of the death of Frances Wood. She has been at the heart of parish life for so many years, we all have our own reasons for being grateful for her long life and all she has done”.

Harold Embleton wrote from Eastbourne two days after her death: “My own connections with Bognor are intrinsically ‘Woody’….. It was your father who, on that day when the Bishop first brought me to St. Wilfrid’s, took me round the parish and to Nyewood School and, apart from Eric Wells, it was in your (then) home that we first received hospitality in Bognor.

Your mother is an incredible woman, never refusing to take on yet another chore; and I think she could be called almost the archetypal mother – and matriarch. I shall very much miss her visible and audible presence among us; but as her life is transferred to the eternal plane, her memory will remain a strong and vivid reality.” He did say more which humility prevents us from quoting and I think we have said enough.

Our view of Mother is perhaps summed up in the following poem which Neville Smith read for us as part of his Eulogy, and the poem written by Felicity Jane on behalf of all Mother’s beloved Grandchildren.

Mother

Don’t say she was a paragon, an angel or a saint.
Don’t speak of her in reverent tones, with voices
hushed and faint.
Remember her as full of life, vivacious, loving, kind;
Caring and compassionate with such a lively mind.
Say that she felt close to God but involved in
Mankind,
And left a splendid legacy for all who stay behind.
Acknowledge that we’ll miss her and that it’s sad
to part;
But remember that forever she’s a presence in our
heart.
She was such a special mother and a so devoted wife
We know she will continue to bring joy into our life.

Grandmother

I still can’t quite believe it …
For all my life I had you and I thought it was forever.
Age doesn’t matter. You were old in your body,
but your mind seemed as young as mine.
I never really imagined you gone.
I watched you, I learned from you …
You were so vibrant and so strong.
Everyone says you touched their lives …
You touched mine and I pray your imprint stays
‘til I too am eighty-nine.
I don’t want to forget you, or what you stood for.
I want to tell my daughter all about you.
I know a part of you lives on in her and in all of us.
We are lucky.
We all had your courage. We all had your wisdom.
Sometimes we all had your disapproval.
Most of all we had your love.
God lent you to us for a wonderfully long time –
Who can blame him now for wanting you back?
I know I had a very special grandmother.
I pray for you now and feel happy and safe in
knowing that you are with me in spirit and
always will be.
I will always love you dearly.

Those who know us well realise our parents are still very much part of our lives and we are aware how truly blessed we were and are.

Patience, Felicity, Ruth, Elizabeth and John.
September 2010