Funeral Service at St. Wilfrid's Church
Thursday 17th January 2008
conducted by Fr. Andrew Wadsworth

Eulogy

On behalf of all the family, I should like to say ‘thank you’ for coming to join in this celebrations of Dad’s life.

Dad was born in Pudsey, Yorkshire on 19th February 1921, followed in five years by his sister, Marjorie. Their caring parents instilled in them good manners and a sense of consideration for others. He was named Stanley, although later he much preferred to be called Stan.

A bright boy, he attended Pudsey Grammar School where he excelled at sports, being a competition swimmer and keen tennis player. His thirst for knowledge led him to be an avid reader of books and a great lover of the English language. He deplored slovenly speech.

On leaving school he was employed in a bank in Leeds. He enlisted in the Territorial Army and, prior to the outbreak of World War 2 was called to service with The Royal Artillery. Through the sister of a fellow soldier, he and my mother became pen-friends, corresponding with each other for some time. They also met during his leave before she joined the WAAF in 1940. He was involved in an army accident and sustained serious injury resulting in a year in York Military Hospital. He recounted many amusing stories of his time as a patient i.e. being left in the ward with his leg in traction during air-raids, his initial aversion to Guinness which he was prescribed and which he later came to like etc.

He was medically discharged from the army as a war pensioner and for some time wore a leg calliper. This injury was to cause him much discomfort for the rest of his life. He was appointed to a senior accounts post commercially and returned to civilian life.

After the war and ten years from their first introduction, he again made contact with our mother. By now he was a keen thespian and was rehearsing as the lead in Blythe Spirit. By coincidence the first wife in that was named Elvira, whereas Mum’s second name is Elvire.

They were married in June 1949 at Pudsey Parish Church and a year later he was overjoyed by Julie’s arrival. In 1953 I was born.

He continued his activities in the theatrical societies, once growing a beard for his part as Professor Higgins in Pygmalion, long before beards were fashionable. He was also a fan of jazz music and, when we moved to Leicestershire he was appointed accountant with Decca and, to his great pleasure, had access to music records of all description.

We moved to Bognor on 1st January 1963, during the Siberian winter. Dad eventually joined the accounts staff of LEC Refrigeration where he worked until the age of 72 – he always said that his work was also his hobby.

Dad had a quirky sense of humour making him popular with young and old alike. When answering the phone to any of Mum’s friends he would say ‘How nice of you to call, I was just waiting to hear from you’ making each and every one feel special.

He was a crossword fanatic, often solving the most difficult clues. He often commented that he was a mine of useless information, gained, no doubt, from his love of reading. He was also a wizz kid with figures and disliked the thought of using a computer.

He was passionately fond of children and adored his grandchildren, David, Amy, Sara(h) Oliver and Eleanor. He would look at and, with parents’ permission, talk to any child he saw in the supermarket.
He went into hospital on 18th December and, in his usual selfless way suggested we should go home and enjoy Christmas. He was touched when we said we intended having a party with him in hospital, which we did. When he became emotional Mum said, “Don’t be sad” and he replied, “I’m not sad, I’m happy”.
He had mentioned two days before that he had always wanted the recording of Summer Time by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong which Mum gave him on a CD called ‘Love Songs’ and a Julian Bream recording which David was able to purchase.

Due to the fact that he was not able to swallow solid food, he was fed puree, but he managed to sip red wine through a straw and eat morsels of his favourite cheese.

He was experiencing a great deal of pain and deteriorated quickly. On Sunday, 6th January, Father Andrew joined us for prayers and anointed him. He died peacefully.

John Smith (Son)

David and Amy's Memories
Grandad was always there for us, talked to us and helped us to grow. He was a wonderful father figure and we could turn to him for anything. We both seem to have inherited his love of reading and his ‘strange’ sense of humour. We remember him with love.

Sara
I have many happy memories of Grandad, partially (should this be particularly?) from my younger days.
I remember his love of red wine and cheese and visiting on Sundays with his favourite music always playing on the radio.
More recently he used to like taking me to one side to give me the benefit of his years of life’s experience.

I think the following words sum up how Grandad would like to be remembered:

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways.
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun.
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

Julie
Dad wondered if he had been a good father. For me he was the best. He was my rock and enabled me to be the person I am. He was a tower of strength when I needed him. He did not want to go on his ‘last great adventure’ yet did so with great courage and some humour. He did not want his passing to be ‘a tragedy’ so I will remember him with much love.

The following poem sums up Dad perfectly to me…

I'd rather see you smiling

You must not think that I have gone
Please don’t grieve or pine
I’d rather see you smiling
Laughing, working looking fine
Death is an exciting key
Which opens many doors
It leads us into other worlds
Quite similar to yours
Life is not an accident
Death is not the end
God designed a mystery
Life and death do blend
So do not think that I have gone
Please do not brood or pine
I’d rather see your smiling
Laughing, working, looking fine.